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TV Show Quotes
These TV show quotes have been taken from some of the best loved programmes and some of the best loved moments on the British and American screens. Enjoy reliving some of the great times on television with these quotes.
| TV show quote of the month: 'Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.' Rachel, Friends |
Ray: I wish I were Einstein cause then I'd invent a time machine and go back to when you were nice.
Everybody Loves Raymond
Hutch: [ducking] That ain't a kid, it's a tiny little man... And he's got knives. Goddamn.
Starsky and Hutch
Grandma (Esther) Walton: Rise and shine, you two!
Jason Walton: I'll rise, but I sure won't shine.
The Waltons
O'Neill: "Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman. I like women. I've just got a little problem with scientists."
Stargate
Laura: You know something, Mary...?
Mary Ingalls Kendall: No, what?
Laura: Life sure is a lot easier when you don't like boys!
Little House on the Prairie
Blackadder: Everything goes over your head, doesn't it, George? You should go to Jamaica and become a limbo dancer.
Blackadder
David Brent: Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
The Office
The Doctor: The procedure is quite simple. I'll drill an opening into your skull percisely two milimeters in diameter and
then use a neuralyte probe to extract a sample of your parietal lobe weighing approximately one gram.
Star Trek Voyager
Sam: It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I
went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly.
Quantum Leap
Janitor: Some hooligan keeps disconnecting the alarm. I told Security to look into it. But no, no, they'd rather catch the guy
who's stealing organs from the transplant ward.
Scrubs
[On Daisy's party decorations]
Brian: I see at as a tribute to Christo, the artist.
Tim: I see it as a waste of Baco, the foil.
Spaced
Dougal: "Functional and pretty... Like me."
Magic Roundabout
Carrie: Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are times you still feel
shipwrecked and alone. Times even the most resourceful survivor would feel the need to put a message in a bottle, or on
an answering machine.
Sex and The City
Charlie Townsend: Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went the Police Academy, and they were each
assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me. My name is Charlie.
Charlie's Angels
Derek: [to Addison] There is a land called Passive Agresseva, and you are their queen.
Grey's Anatomy
Summer: The more time i spend with zach, the less times i think about ... God, what's his face? Built like a bean pole, curly
hair, runs away like a little bitch on his sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried over and over for
him until the Fourth of July until she decides she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
The OC
Dan Scott: How great is this? Dinner together... steaks on the grill... you not punching me...
One Tree Hill
Andy: Do me a favor while they're here. You know how you usually behave?
Ephram: Distant and miserable?
Andy: Yeah. Do the opposite.
Everwood
Fran: Bernard? Finished with your accounts?
Bernard: Yes. I've turned them into a rather smart casual jacket.
Black Books
TV Show Quotes